sad times

So today I would have already left and have begun my training for the summer. It’s a time like right now that I realize the sadness that I have for not being able to work in Colorado this summer. It’s kind of like breaking up with a girl, you know it had to be this way but it still hurts. I was excited that I would at least be able to get out to camp this summer for a least a short period of time, but as things are looking now that’s probably not going to happen. Maybe that’s for the best; actually if that’s how it’s going to be, then I know that’s how God wants it to be.
I don’t understand how or why God does what he does. It’s definitely never the way I would have done things, but I guess that’s why I haven’t been able to create a universe yet. It’s hard enough for me to write a paper and not have too much red ink on it afterwards, let alone write the story of the universe.
I offically declared my major, philosophy, today. That seems like a big mile marker for me. I’ve made a bearing for my life, now it’s that point where I’m supposed to start walking towards it. I feel good about the decision though it seems like certain people with a vested interest in my life don’t feel the same way. So what do philosophers do? How did Plato, Socrates, Descartes, or Hume make a living? So even though I’ve set my compass for a certain path, I still don’t know what lies over that hill that they call an undergraduate degree.
I would ask God when I get to heaven, why did you have to make life so confusing; but I know the answer already. He would just kind of laugh, a warm laugh that a father gives his son, shaking his head and say:

“Now what fun would that have been, no one goes through a maze where you can see the other side from the beginning. That’s like driving through Kansas after you just left the mountains, it’s just not that satisfying (*just as a disclaimer, to all those kansanites, I really enjoy going through Kansas (*and I’m sure God does too), also David Lankford can confirm this from our drive together last summer.). And didn’t you learn anything from your dad, he was always saying…’hey don’t worry we’re on an adventure’ and I thought you loved adventures Jonathan? I was just trying to add some twists and turns to spice things up for you, you not appreciate it? I’ll tell you what Jonathan, you are just rather confusing to even me sometimes.”

So to all you Ute Trail guides, you better appreciate every second of this summer because it may be the last time you get to use the hobbie or move rocks or stain a house in STINKING COLORADO!